She said her name was "party"
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize