first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
