He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
