But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
