i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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