So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
