i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Randomize
