You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
