Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
