Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
