it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
