Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
