In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
