cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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