Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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