last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
