The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
