We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
