she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Randomize
