Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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