My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Randomize
