I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
