ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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