So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
