We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
