what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
