a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
