so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
