Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
