You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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