glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
