He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
