That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I have grass duct taped all over my body
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
