She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
