we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
