Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
