Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
