Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
