Pants 0. Shit 1.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
