So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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