Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
