Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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