don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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