Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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