She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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