What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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