I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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