Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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