dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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