apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
