Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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