eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
