this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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