You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I have already put on my inside pants.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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