her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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