That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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