My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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