is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
