You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
can u get pink eye on your cock?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
