my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
