Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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